RJ Scott

Christmas Countdown 2013 – 22 December

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Favourite Christmas Movies

Love Actually – so much yummy British Goodness set at Christmas where Hugh Grant is an awesome single Prime Minister.

Fab film

And very poignant with the sister who has the additional needs brother.

IMDB entry – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0314331/

The last but by no means least featured Anthology Author is

Meredith Russell with her story Spiced Apple and Cinnamon

Unfortunately, we do not have any blurb for this story. Instead, spend some time looking round the blog at her fine artwork that is on display in many locations.


22/12/2013 – 11:21AM. Found it on Meredith’s blog –

It’s Christmas morning but Keegan can’t bring himself to enjoy the day. Not just yet. Not until Alex is home and safe and in his arms and they can celebrate the day together.

Meredith’s Special Christmas Memory

I love Christmas. I love the colours, the smells, the food, and if we’re lucky, we get a sprinkle of snow.

No matter what you believe in, for me Christmas is all about family, spending time with them, sharing gifts and laughs, and lots of food and drink.

Just lazing around and being together.

Info on Meredith Russell

Meredith can be found on her blog here.

Not read it yet? What are you waiting for? Download the anthology for FREE at Love Lane Books or All Romance eBooks.

Mr RJ’s Crap Joke Section


Last night turned out to be a little bit more than a few alcoholic beverages. Three pints of beer, five southern comfort and lemonades later I stumbled to the door at 2:00AM in the morning. In true self employed style I even managed to answer a Love Lane Website query that had come in. Mind you, I had to rewrite the email a couple of times and the keys on my laptop were not where they usually are!**!??  The first pub we visited had one really cool feature. They let dogs in! The woof woof type :). Now I love dogs and I think myself and Jack may have to frequent this drinking establishment. He will love the fuss all the customers and staff seem to make with the dogs.
Anyway I’m prattaling, so back to the business in hand.  Tonights selection comes from a car forum I belong to.  The thread is entitled “Crap Jokes” so I think they qualify for this section and what a bumper selection!
Bought some ‘rocket salad’ yesterday but it went off before I could eat it!
Just got back from my mate’s funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball.
It was a lovely service.
I’ve just found out who was nicking my beetroot. I caught him red handed.
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.
I was attacked by some little ginger boy doing martial arts.
It turned out to be the carroty kid!
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.. 
A book just fell on my head.
I have only my shelf to blame.
Why did the fungi leave the party?
Because there wasn’t mushroom.
Santa says to Mrs. Claws “Any idea what the weather will be like for Christmas?”. 
Mrs Claws: “Look’s like rain, dear”

I told my friend not to dig beneath me to find gold but he went ahead and undermined me.

My mate has just moved in with his girlfriend and her massive magazine collection. When she refused to part with them he left her.  She had too many issues.

The universe implodes. No matter.

Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”
The other says, “Are you sure??”
“Yes, I’m positive!”

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I
quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time….
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I
was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a
coffin, 3 hours later and they’re still walking about with it. I thought
to myself, they’ve lost the plot!!

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.  
More from Nancy :-

How many reindeer does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Eight. One to screw in the bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down.

What do you call a scary reindeer?
A cariboo

What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?
Anything you want. He can’t hear you

So there we go for another day.  A couple of  thank you’s.  Thank you to Laurie P for asking for a Mr RJ section for crap jokes. Are you mad Laurie?  You wish this infliction to continue?  I do come across some bad ones every so often so I may be back on the odd occasion to make you all groan!  Thanks to Susan for the link.
Until tomorrow…..

The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition

For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don’t forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..

Today enter the competition to win a signed copy of The Christmas Throwaway paperback and a RJ Scott Pen.

Good Luck!!!!!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  3. Love Actually is a good one. I really liked Home Alone, that one cracked me up, my son saw it last year for the first time and thought it was hilarious.

    Love the jokes Mr Rj, thanks for the laughs, I so needed that, lol. 🙂

    Reply

  4. I love Love Actually!! Awesome cast. Great choice, RJ.

    Hope that your head is not hurting too much today, Mr. RJ.

    A drunken man staggers into a catholic church and sits down in a confession box but says nothing.
    The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.
    The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.
    Finally the drunk replies – "No use knockin' mate – there's no paper in this one either".

    Lady – “So do you drink?”
    Man – “I used to drink a lot, but I quit cold turkey.
    Lady – “Wow, that must take a lot of self-control.”
    Man – “Well I found out I was allergic to it, every time I drank I broke out in handcuffs.”

    *hugs to you both*
    Sharon

    Reply

  6. Love Actually and The Holiday are my two favorite Christmas movies, both a a British touch, hmm. And I love the crap joke posts! I want them to keep going.

    Reply

  7. Strangely enough I have not seen this movie. Most of the movies I've seen in recent years have been the ones I take the grandsons to see. Speaking of grandsons, I got a bit of a shock yesterday. The 11 year old has the beginnings of a mustache! His voice has been changing for a couple of months now but yeesh a mustache at 11! Sorry for the totally off topic but all I've been doing today is shaking my head in wonder.

    My boyfriend is just like Santa Claus. He gives me presents and is imaginary.

    It's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

    This holiday, in lieu of gifts, I'm giving everyone my opinion.

    To all the people that piss me off, I hope you get Crocs for Christmas.

    A boy writes to Santa asking for a brother and receives a reply back from Santa: send my your mother.

    My neighbor put up his Christmas lights today, bet he's pissed that I beat him to it. I put mine up 3 years ago.

    Dear Santa, I can explain…..

    Reply

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