It's no secret that I love Christmas and it follows that not only do I love to write Christmas books but I will happily curl up with my kindle and a cuppa and read as many Christmas stories as I can!
RJ Scott's Christmas Books
Christmas books I have read and recommend this year…
Mr RJ's Crap Joke Section
It's a quiet post tonight as we have run out of authors to talk about for the anthology. I have however, found you some quite awful jokes tonight Laurie :). I will try again tomorrow to make them a bit more christmassy as we approach the big day. Tomorrow will be the last crap joke section *sniffle*.
Anyway, wiping away the tears, here goes tonights selection:-
Why are chemists great for solving problems?
They have all the solutions.
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
Just bought a dog off my local Blacksmith.
As soon as I got it home he made a bolt for the door
Shakespeare walks into a bar……….
Landlord – “I'm not serving you……….you're bard”
Wife told me to stop impersonating butter –
But i cant help it…Im on a roll
Elvis, my pet mouse, has just died.
He was caught in a trap.
The party was going well at my house until someone smashed the ouija board.
That's when all hell broke loose.
The wife was a bit frisky the other night and I was a bit tired so I reached over for a swig of my liquid viagra but missed and got a mouthful of tippex instead.
Nothing much happened at the time but later on I woke up with a huge correction.
Someone's just dumped a load of clay outside my front door.
I don't know what to make of it.
A farmer sends his sheepdog into a field, and tells him to count up how many sheep there were.
The dog returns and tells the farmer ‘there's 40 sheep in that field'.
That's odd, says the farmer, there should only be 37….
The sheepdog says …
‘that's because I've rounded them up..!'
When I was young all the other kids used to bully me. They would cover me in whipped cream and put cherries on me.
It was tough growing up in the gateau………
I never wanted to believe that my brother stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home all the signs were there.
I was doing some cooking last night and I got some herbs in my eye. I am now parsley sighted.
I'm dreading it…..
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctors?
Because it wasn't peeling well.
Why did Shelock Holmes paint his hall-way yellow?
“A-lemon-entry my dear Watson!”
Whats a Wok?
Its something you throw at wabbits when you dont have a wifle!
Quite a selection of absolute rubbish there!!!:). More tomorrow……
The Twenty Five Days of Christmas Competition
For the master post explaining prizes, etc, visit Competition and prizes for the twenty five days of Christmas. Don't forget every entry you make counts towards the grand prize on 25 December. So if you enter every day, you will have 24 chances for to win..
Today enter the competition to win a $10 Amazon voucher.